The biggest lesson that I am learning is that our parents did the best they could, with what they had and knew; their best and not what or how we define ‘ the best’. They did the best they could after dealing or carrying their own trauma while trying to raise us. Even for those physically absent or emotionally absent parents, they are living with and/or reacting to the things they were taught, the things they told themselves, and their trauma.
Self-work can only be done by YOU. It isn’t the responsibility of your parents or guardian. You can’t take back what was done, but it is your responsibility to move forward. You’re worth the process. You deserve to heal!
Never feel entitled to their space and thoughts. Many of us do this. We feel self-entitled to believe that we deserve a certain reaction or response from other people who handle their life and situations differently than we do. Expecting others to conform to what we think should happen is self-entitlement. It isn’t fair to the other person.
Personal boundaries are extremely crucial to have a well-balanced life. Do the self-work! Understand what you need in order to feel safe, happy, appreciated and loved. Know that others are doing the same for their life. At some point, boundaries will cross paths. They may not be the most comfortable, but they are fair
Solitude can be used to strengthen your mind, heart, and soul. It is meant to help you learn and heal simultaneously. It is not meant for you to suffer although you’ll experience growing pains while in it. It is a safe place of peace that welcomes you when you’re wounded. It is also a safe place for you to understand, accept, and improve your decision making; to reflect and regroup.
Each experience you grow through requires a different you. The reason why you’ve survived more than you can imagine is that something prepared you to have the strength to do so. Gaining clarity hurts sometimes. So when you’re feeling inadequate, lost or not yourself, love yourself through it anyway and repeat these 5 reminders.
Everyone has an assigned amount of time on this earth. Most of us take advantage of this limited resource day to day. I like to look at our assigned amount of time as a budget. Let’s call this our “Fuck Budget” or for my more conservative reader “Budget of Care”. Each person chooses what they will or won’t care about with every decision they make. They also choose how they will care for what they choose. I am a passionate advocate for checking the f**k budget when it comes to time these days…
At a really low point in my life, I didn’t realize how toxic I was. Not many people could approach me. I was a perfectionist, and avoided the truth about my flaws. Only after I’ve looked back at past experiences did I think, “Damn, I was sour as hell back then” and immediately started being very mindful about how I conversed with others and distributed my energy internally and externally.
Sharing my thoughts with my tribe is my way connecting and creating conversation. We don't always have to agree, but it's important that we talk about topics that many don't want to discuss. Always remember, if it don't apply, let it fly!